Friday Night

I don't know where I begin and where I end.
I'm constantly wondering, accepting, rejecting, deciding, discarding, grieving, rejoicing.
I don't know what truth is for I am a lie.
I don't know what lies are for I am true to what lies inside.
I'm here and now.
I was and I will be.
Something that will never be and something that I wasn't.
I will never stop learning.

It's black and it's white.
And then it's every colour that exists.
And what doesn't exist will be discovered.
If I know myself.
And I know myself.
But I'm still discovering- sifting truth from the lies.
I don't know what fences are.
So I don't know what's right and what's not.
If it's not right, can you call it wrong?
You could.
But I won't.
To each, his own.

I have my theories.
About everything.
I keep them to myself unless you really want to listen. If you can't, I won't shove it down your throat.
I listen to what you have to say.
It helps me observe.
And learn.
About you.
About me.
I'll have my theories about you.
But without fences.
But in the end, I'm only discovering myself.
Through you.
For I will be with myself forever.
The only thoughts I have to deal with every moment are my own.
And if your thoughts influence me, it only helps me get to know myself better.

I'm the one who decides.
The next moment and the moments that follow.
If I can decide.
And then I can't.
This is something only I can do.
I need my approval.
I need my assurance.

And I am a facade inside the fence.

I hate the rains.

But do I or do I not?
I know the answer.
And you don't need to know.
Who I really am.